Grace Notes

a blog about life’s everyday magic

August 2, 2018

Just Check In

Words: Christen Hammons
Photo credit: Dani Vivanco

It’s amazing what a few well-timed words delivered via text message can do to make you feel loved and supported. I’m not talking about an “I love you” text from a spouse. No, this text came from a friend and just the right time, and it’s changed how I’m approaching my friendships.

            “I know life’s been stressful for you lately. How are you holding up?”

It was simple, and maybe to others it would be no big deal, but it meant the world to me. Maybe it’s my stereotypical middle-child self, but in the moment I felt seen and heard. She didn’t just brush off my comments as silly complaints. No words of advice were offered; it was just a check-in, really. What my friend didn’t know was that I was quickly heading toward an anxiety attack, and her text took me slowed me down.

So now, I remind myself to check in with my friends. To really pay attention to what they’re dealing with and let them know in an unobtrusive way that I’m here. As adults, our days are filled to the brim with a lot of different responsibilities, and with our attention often focused on our spouses and our jobs, our friendships can get a little neglected if we’re not careful.

Just check in. It takes just a couple seconds, but the impact can be huge. Ask how that doctor’s appointment went. Ask how that new restaurant she tried was. Make your friends feel seen and supported, and I promise they will do the same for you.

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Comments ( 5 )

  1. Ella Wilson

    April 19, 2023 at 4:25 pm

    A lovely reminder to reconnect with those who mean so much~ It is difficult sometimes to find time, but it changes so much-when we make the time to shine the light on those we adore. Thank you, Christen~

  2. Debbie E

    April 19, 2023 at 4:25 pm

    I find myself checking in with family and friends frequently. I have a few who battle mental illness and I worry about them. I like to know what they have been up to, if they left the house, or if they saw a movie or read a book. I like to know that the mental health issues are not 100% locking them into their homes and holding them down.

  3. Nina Naomi

    April 19, 2023 at 4:26 pm

    I have a daughter with a delusional disorder who won’t accept my help. I pray that she has a friend like you. People with serious mental health issues often lose their friends. Wonderful what you provide for your friends.

  4. Nina Naomi

    April 19, 2023 at 4:26 pm

    I have a daughter with a delusional disorder who won’t accept my help. I pray that she has a friend like you. People with serious mental health issues often lose their friends. Wonderful what you provide for your friends.

  5. Debbie Ealer

    April 19, 2023 at 4:26 pm

    Thank you Nina, I try to be friends with people who I know will need someone. I have a lot of empathy for others. Im a strong person and if I can lend my strength I try. Life is to short to not be there for others.

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