How to Write a Love Letter to Yourself

 

What if you decide to love yourself … first … best … irrevocably?

 

So often we treat ourselves as expendable – a habit the world taught us to master. Untruths haunt us like shadows that stretch across our reflections, dimming our view of what’s real. In cyclical whispers we hear them:

 

You’ll matter as long as you’re useful.
You’ll be listened to if you don’t make mistakes.
You’ll belong as soon as you prove yourself one more time.
You’ll be valued the length your beauty lasts.

 

Heavy doubts to be sure; the weight of such worries clips your wings and stifles your ability to fly. But how do we outwit the world? How do we find value in ourselves when we constantly walk the tightrope between being not enough for some, and being too much for others? Well dear ones, I’m going to suggest that if these are the questions you’re struggling with, you’re simply asking the wrong things. So instead, I’m going to ask you one question …

 

What if?

 

Such a small question – only two words long, and yet profound when paired with the right trail of words parading behind it.

 

What if you are enough?
What if you do try again?
What if you believe that you can?
What if you decide to love yourself … first … best … irrevocably?

 

These are questions worth leaning your weight upon, and their answers are the foundation of a gift you need to give yourself. In her poem, “After a While,” author Veronica A. Shoffstall reminds us to “… plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.” We often wait instead; we wait for someone to tell us how singular we are, how unrepeatable, how needed. We allow others to temporarily vindicate our lives instead of cherishing the moments and legacies we alone build and we alone know.

 

To this I say, no more. Today, this moment even, you are to write yourself a love letter. Don’t you understand, precious, that there is no one better suited to the task than you? I know it might feel a little awkward, but let me ask you this … who better knows what you need to hear?

 

Grab your favorite cup of something, and get that unmarked journal or that beautiful untouched stationery you’ve been too afraid to use, because this is the perfect entry. It is time to give that lovely soul of yours the words she’s been longing to hold onto. Trust the process, and cherish whatever comes, because your hands and your heart will not lie to you; you’ll know just what to say.

 

How to Write a Love Letter to Yourself

 

1. Don’t type. Take your time and handwrite slowly, using elegant script or the messy scrawl of your youth, whatever you like best. (I prefer cursive for love letters, the shape of the letters twirling reminds me of being invited to dance.)

 

2. Give yourself a salutation that makes you smile. Use the pet name that makes your heart feel young and gratified. (My grandmother always called me Dolly, it is my most preferred term of endearment.)

 

3. Welcome yourself with a treasured memory. Begin, “Do you remember when you …” and detail it with the imagery of the event. Recall the sights, the feelings, and the sounds associated with the memory as you bring yourself back into the warmth of it. Expound on even the smallest details. (I remember my first publication acceptance letter, the weight of acceptance in my hands felt like an anchor giving me permission to take myself seriously as a writer. This memory is a wish-on-a-falling-star come true, and I delight in the reminding.)

 

4. Transition into the second paragraph with comfort. Embrace yourself with words of encouragement. Remind yourself that whatever pain you’re going through is only temporary, but the essence of joy you hold is eternal. Lift yourself up. Give yourself the compliment you’ve been yearning to see in words. (You are enough. You matter. And you will be remembered.)

 

5. Lead into the crescendo of your intention for writing. It is time for the epic declaration – love. Tell yourself all the little details that make you you. Point out the notable attributes, brilliant character flaws, charming habits, and lovely quirks that you enjoy. Again, take your time and linger on this part. Don’t skip anything because graceful, beguiling, exquisite you deserves to hear it! (I want to let myself know that she is intelligent and worthy. I want to remind her that her too loud mouth and overactive imagination are both the roots and the wings she needs, and that she wouldn’t be quite so enchanting without her own bit of everyday folly.)

 

6. Like the fading light of a firework or the twinkle lights at a summer’s dance, turn your words slowly into a final dip and twirl. Remind yourself that these last paragraphs have been something you’ve been holding back for far too long, and something you’ll try to remind her of every day from now on. (Recall, even in your darkest hours, that there is no one in the stretch of one ocean to another such as you. Be the wonder you were meant to become.)

 

7. Sweep any doubts of your admiration away with your intentional and eloquent closing. (All my love precious girl; go keep chasing that light.)

 

8. After all is said, and all your love is shared, fold this letter into an envelope of substance. Address it to yourself in a way that lets you know the contents are both secret and extraordinary. (To the Girl Who Alone Can Read My Heart).

 

It is that simple. Put the letter somewhere special. It can be placed high and visible, a daily reminder to the tenderness with which you should care for yourself, or boxed and treasured for a future, forgotten surprise. There is no limit to the number of times you can read and reread the testimony of endearment … but keep it as the gift it really is.

 

And now, in closing, can I ask you just one more thing? If you love yourself this much, how can the world not soon follow suit? Lead the revolution of your own undeniable worth.

 

Be cherished,
Elle

 

Elle Harris is a believer of impossible things. She is a lover of words, wonder, and the whimsical delights of everyday living. Caught in the creative place between reality and imagination is her favorite place to be. Please join Elle in pursuing life with intention, and grand conversation on her blog thisquotablelife.wordpress.com. Find Elle on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter @ElleHarris82.