Learning to Love Being Alone

For many years, I hated spending time alone. Whether I was cozied up for a night at home or out for a meal, I felt the need to have a companion by my side. If my husband had to go out of town for work, I’d pack my schedule with dates with friends, not wanting to be in an empty house. But somewhere along the way, that all began to change.

As life got busier and I found myself spending more and more time with others, my introverted self began to feel drained. I craved a break from the constant hum of conversation and activity. Around the same time, my husband started a restaurant, which meant he was working every day and I was often left with long stretches of time on my own. At first, the quiet felt unfamiliar, even uncomfortable. But slowly, I began to lean into it, and to my surprise, I found I liked it. Being a creature of habit, I developed little rituals and routines with myself, and found myself looking forward to them.

My Favorite Things to Do Alone

• Grocery shopping every Sunday morning. I can listen to a podcast or audiobook as I shop the aisles, smiling at the employees I see every week.
• Walking around our quaint downtown plaza. I don’t have to keep a conversation going and can instead walk at my own pace, fully attuned to what’s going on around me.
• Watch TV. There’s no one around to roll their eyes when I turn on “Gilmore Girls” for the thousandth time to find comfort in familiar storylines.
• As a reward for getting my shopping done, I will often walk to our local craft brewery to slowly sip on a drink with nothing but my book to keep me company.
• Nothing at all. When I’m alone, I don’t feel the pressure to do something. Instead, I can just relax and do nothing.

Now, I treasure my alone time, and though I’m happy to have my husband around more now that he’s settled into his role as a restaurateur, I’m quick to seek it out when I can. What once felt like an empty space now feels like a gift: a chance to move at my own pace, to listen to my own thoughts, and to discover little rituals that bring me joy. I’ve come to realize that being alone isn’t the same as being lonely. It can simply be a chance to embrace the joy of your own company.  I hope that those who have also feared being alone will give themselves permission to lean into it the way I did and find that some of the sweetest moments are the ones you share with yourself.

Embrace time to yourself with our newly released Bella Grace Issue 45.