November 3, 2017
Wordless
“Read to me at the end, if there’s time. And if I fail to understand, read to
me anyway.” — Robin Behn
There are very few experiences I’ve had in my life that have left me wordless.
In fact, I would guess that I could count on one hand the number of times it has happened. Words are sort
of my trademark, and finding myself without them is somewhat akin to standing lost on a
deserted road. But wordless was exactly where I found myself recently, and I’m still not entirely
sure that I can fully process the gravity of being lost in that moment.
For some time now, Bella Grace Magazine has been an instrumental part of my life and
my writing career. It started with a love affair … the thick pages of prose and poetry sweeping
my reader’s heart off its feet. Later, I had the beautiful opportunity to have multiple pieces
published, and was then featured on the affiliate blog, Grace Notes. From sitting poolside or
fireside and curling up with the company of Bella’s words, to penning my next piece for
submission, I thought I’d loved the magazine fully before. As it turns out, I had barely scratched
the surface of what Bella Grace means to me.
One of the greatest benefits of being a part of the Bella Grace family has been all of the
people I have met through her pages. I’ve followed and been followed by countless other writers,
photographers, and artists through this publication, and the connections have organically grown
into a lovely extension of the mission, “An ordinary life can be extraordinary … and that magic
can be found in the everyday.” And yet, I had no idea how true it all was, until I met Michelle.
A fellow Bella Grace author, and poetic gourmet kitchen owner, I began following
Michelle Gerrard-Marriott (of The Vibrant Kitchen and Home) on Instagram shortly after being
published in the Fall 2016 issue. I was enamored at her work, her words, and her mission; I
quickly found myself “liking” almost every one of her posts, but never commenting. One day, I
decided to take the two extra seconds to tell her how much I appreciated her post, and she replied
almost instantly by telling me how I was an inspiration to her, and that my words had helped her
endure. I had no idea what she could have meant, but thanked her, knowing full well her poetic
posts were the real treasure. A few moments later, I received a message from her that set me on
that speechless road.
Michelle went on to tell me about her beautiful best friend who, at twenty-eight-years
old, was taken by cancer. She said that when Katrina (her friend) was in her final days of
hospice, Michelle would read my poem from Bella Grace Issue 9 “Remembering Light,” to her, over
and over as she rested. She said that she will never forget her smile as she read. How are there
words to follow such an admission? What thanks could I possibly offer? Unbeknownst to me, my
words were being used to soothe, to calm, and to carry her spirit as it crossed from this life to the
adventure waiting beyond it. There could never be a literary accolade more meaningful than
being in that moment.
When I finally did catch my breath from crying, and catch my words from escaping me, I
wrote back to precious Michelle. I asked her to tell me all about Katrina, and when she did, I
asked her permission to write a poem, once again, just for her. After a few days, and countless
prayers that I would be able to honor Katrina’s memory properly, I sent Michelle a piece entitled,
“As She.”
Michelle replied that she was now wordless, but that she had sent the piece on to
Katrina’s mother, who said that the poem was a “timely gift” for her wedding anniversary that
day, her birthday and Father’s Day that Sunday. She thanked me over and over again for the gift,
not realizing that being able to know Katrina and Michelle – to know their friendship so
intimately, and to now have gifted her family has been an incomparable blessing.
I told Michelle once, that her story made me think of my favorite quote from author
Robin Behn who said, “Read to me at the end, if there’s time. And if I fail to understand, read to
me anyway.” In her next response, Michelle told me that this passage was one of her favorite
quotes, and that she had it hanging near her bed. At this point, how could I not believe in magic?
In the spirit of moments that are ordained holy and precious. How could I not have faith that
ordinary days can become extraordinary? How could I not believe in the story of Bella Grace?
May Bella bring you beyond the pages of a beautiful magazine, and into the relationships
that live across the country, beyond the borders of miracles, and into whatever comes next.
We would like to extend an enormous thank you to Elle for sharing this touching story with our readers. And now, we’re very pleased to include Elle’s original poem, “As She.”
As She
She was a life like no other
a part of this world by circumstance,
… not substance …
too exquisite to ever really belong in the confines of ordinary days
Breathtakingly radiant,
hers was not a beauty one could be jealous of,
because when she was with you she shared herself so completely
that you became beautiful too
She was the vibrance of every story
read or told
and the storm behind every calm
her spirit equal measures of chaos and grace
And I miss her everywhere
She was the sister I danced under the moon with
the kindred echo of my thoughts
the hand I didn’t know I needed to hold until she was holding it
the voice of adventure when reason had no claim
the master of every plan
the tether to all that made sense when nothing could
She was the star I always followed home
With every breath,
even her last,
she gave everything
and I think
sometimes
that is why she had to leave
Her soul was so light,
that heaven itself became her gravity
Her soul was so light,
that heaven itself became her gravity
And yet
even now,
after she has left her first destiny for her next
she is with me
her smile ever unclouded and fixed in my mind
And the memory of her is a firework show –
every day of her life the grand finale
She cast her radiance,
her ethereal, effervescent glow
upon all of those fortunate enough to be her audience
And so she will always be –
the golden sparkle hanging in the air,
imprinting her beauty against the sky
leaving this life with a trail of light
… unforgettable …
as she
Elle Harris is a believer of impossible things. She is a lover of words, wonder, and the whimsical delights of everyday living. Caught in the creative place between reality and imagination is her favorite place to be. Please join Elle in pursuing life with intention, and grand conversation on her blog thisquotablelife.wordpress.com. Find Elle on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter @ElleHarris82.
11.3.17 “Wordless” a Bella Grace Post | this quotable life
April 19, 2023 at 4:25 pm
[…] are some experiences in your life that absolutely change you. This post, “Wordless” on Bella Grace Magazine’s blog Grace Notes is just such an experience. I would argue that it was one of the most significant journeys my […]
Rebecca Hetzel
April 19, 2023 at 4:25 pm
Absolutely beautiful. ???????? I could not imagine my life without my best friend
Elle Harris
April 19, 2023 at 4:25 pm
This singular story … this friendship has meant so very much to me. I would love to hear from you dear ones. Tell me a story that knit your soul back together. Tell me when your world was forever changed by the life of another.
Vickie Kunst
April 19, 2023 at 4:25 pm
Wow…that was so very touching. People fall into our lives for a reason. Thank you so much for starting my day so beautifully!
Debbie Anderson
April 19, 2023 at 4:25 pm
This feels like it’s speaking to my heart…my soul. My beautiful 40 year old daughter dies suddenly four years ago. But I feel her around me often. Your poem has really touched me. Thank you for publishing this work of art.
Terry Gassett
April 19, 2023 at 4:25 pm
Elle – what a beautiful story of the connection that comes through sharing our stories! And a reminder of the gift that our words can and often are to those who read them (most often without our knowing). And what a gift we give and/or receive when a word of encouragement pops up when we least expect it!
Your poem is beautiful way to honor Katrina’s life, and I am sure a gift that will be treasured for years to come by both her best friend and family! What a lovely thing to do!
I too love Bella Grace and Grace Notes, it’s companion blog❣️ In fact long before I connected with you on Instagram, I had connected with your beautiful words through Bella Grace❣️The person behind the words does not disappoint. ????
What a twist that as writers we sometimes find ourselves speechless and other times overwhelmed with unnecessary words! I had the honor of publishing a piece on Grace Notes called “When Words are Unnecessary.” Your post struck me as the flip side to that!
At any rate, your beautiful post has reminded me very poignantly of both the power and privilege of words and the need to use them to build up, inspire and heal – all of which you do so brilliantly my sweet friend❣️
Thank you for continuing to gift us with your words.
Mac
April 19, 2023 at 4:25 pm
This is beautiful! I have never heard that quote before but I love it! And that poem is so very very lovely! I think your friend would be proud!
Elle Harris
April 19, 2023 at 4:25 pm
Rebecca!
I couldn’t live without my best friend either. There is something to be said for God putting people in our way at exactly the time in our lives that we need them! I am 100% certain your best friend knows this and is so grateful for the times you’ve invested in one another.
Elle Harris
April 19, 2023 at 4:25 pm
Vickie:
Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. I agree that people come into our lives at the exact right time. What a divine gift friendship can be.
Elle Harris
April 19, 2023 at 4:25 pm
Debbie:
I am quite literally crying right now. I am SO, SO deeply sorry for your loss. I do believe that she is now on the other side of heaven, holding your place until you can dance, and laugh, and hold one another again.
Elle Harris
April 19, 2023 at 4:25 pm
Terry!
You, my dear, are a treasure to my writer’s heart. Thank you. Thank you most sincerely and profoundly for the compliments of your time, and your kindred spirit. I agree that words are fickle things, that they come and go, overwhelm us, and leave us yearning. What a joy to know my writer’s heart is in communion with individuals like you! Carry on my friend.
Elle Harris
April 19, 2023 at 4:25 pm
Mac:
I am most humbled. Thank you.
Elle
Valery Larson
April 19, 2023 at 4:25 pm
Thank you for the words of your beautiful poem. It made me think of my mom, who got sick at a very young age yet always saw the beauty in the world and in people.
This magazine lifts me like a swallow.
Mona
April 19, 2023 at 4:25 pm
Hello! Is there a way to view this poem? I am brand new to Bella Grace (and am in Love!)
Thank you!
Bella Grace Magazine
April 19, 2023 at 4:25 pm
Hi there, are you having trouble viewing “As She”? It should be right below the article. Can I ask what you are looking at when you scroll down?
Susana camba
April 19, 2023 at 4:25 pm
Thank you so much you do Wonderfull work
Sue Carey
April 19, 2023 at 4:25 pm
Dearest Elle,
I love your writing and your poetry.
I discovered this article again having read your most recent article about the beautiful journal page created as a result of someone being so inspired by “As She”.
I have searched fruitlessly for your original poem “Remembering Light” which appeared in issue 9 of Bella Grace.
We don’t get this magazine in the UK, and it’s sold out everywhere; I can’t seem to find a digital download to read your poem.
Is there a link to an article containing your original poem which brought about your friendship with Michelle?
I would love to read it if at all possible.
“As She” reminds me so much of when my precious Mummy passed away in 2015.
I was reading and singing to her right up until her final moments…
Your words always find a way to reach my soul.
Thank you.
Love and blessings to you and your family for 2020.
Sue xx ✨ ✨ xx